Who Watches the WATCHMEN? VIII

[TreeBeard]

hope they aren't black widows.
they do that here.. we call them redbacks.

THE REDBACK ON THE TOILET SEAT
by Slim Newton

There was a redback on the toilet seat
When I was there last night.
I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy I felt his bite.

I jumped high up into the air
And when I hit the ground,
That crafty redback spider
Wasn't nowhere to be found.

I rushed into the missus,
Told her just where I'd been bit.
She grabbed a cut-throat razor-blade
And I nearly took a fit.

I said, "Just forget what's on your mind
And call a doctor please,
'Cause I got a feeling that your cure
Is worse than the disease."

There was a redback on the toilet seat
When I was there last night.
I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy I felt his bite.

And now I'm here in hospital
A sad and sorry sight,
And I curse the redback spider
On the toilet seat last night.

I can't lie down, I can't sit up
And I don't know what to do,
And all the nurses think it's funny
But that's not my point of view.

I tell you its embarassing,
And that's to say the least,
That I'm too sick to eat a bit
While that spider had a feast.

And when I get back home again
I tell you what I'll do,
I'll make that redback suffer
For the pain I'm going through.

I've had so many needles
That I'm looking like a sieve,
And I promise you that spider
Hasn't very long to live.

There was a redback on the toilet seat
When I was there last night.
I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy I felt his bite.

But now I'm here in hospital
A sad and sorry sight,
And I curse the redback spider
On the toilet seat last night.

[TreeBeard]

http://66.165.133.65/horrors/insects/buttspdr.htm
There was a Redback on the toilet seat when I was there last night.
I didn't see him in the dark but, boy, I felt his bite.

The Redback on the Toilet Seat, Slim Newton, 1972.

The Redback Spider is one of Australia's most famous, or infamous, spiders. It has earned this reputation through its widespread distribution and nasty bite.

More than 200 Redback Spider bites requiring antivenom are reported every year. Contrary to Slim Newton's famous song, the female is generally the offender.

As the Redback's bite is potentially dangerous to humans, it pays to know a little about this surprisingly common spider's habits and behaviour.


Death-Dealing Toilet Spider?


Not only have we been menaced by the Red-back on the Toilet Seat, but a recent revival of an old hoax has people anxiously checking for an inoffensive denizen of _Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia before they use the facilities.

Someone has decided the "name" of the spider in the original version of the hoax was too much of a give-away (the Blush Spider, Arachnius Gluteus literally "Spider Bum-muscle"!) and has fingered a Jumping Spider, Telamonia dimidiata, as the new culprit.

Check out_ the following sites for further information: (thanks, Peter Macinnis, for most of these links.)

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/insects/buttspdr.htm
http://www.truthminers.com/truth/spiders.htm
http://hoaxbusters.org/
http://spiders.ucr.edu/debunk.html

An interesting snippet - the lethal Red-back may not even be a dinkum Aussie!

http://www.qmuseum.qld.gov.au/features/spi.../redback-bg.asp

[TreeBeard]

The Redback is a pussycat compared to the Sydney Funnel-web Spider (Atrax robustus). Picture a 6-7 cm female spider rearing up on its hind legs exposing a set of massive fangs. This spider grips its victim and bites repeatedly. And the venom of the male is five times as toxic as the female. Bite symptoms begin with unbearable pain, twitching, salivation, severe hypertension, more twitching, vomiting, unconsciousness and uncontrolled twitching, and death. Now I knew why my colleagues in the field always lifted the outdoor toilet seat before plunking down.

yep this bloke's research into our dangers and our humour is good, check his pages out http://www.lonker.net/travel_australia_1.htm..though he should realise that funnel web's don't habit toilet seats.. They are more likely to crawl into your clothes you tossed on the floor last night when you went to bed before that summer storm. As male funnelwebs go wandering during such nights.. they are a ground spider, belonging to the trapdoor group.
especially page two http://www.lonker.net/travel_australia_2.htm, since this section, is all about the area in which i live and I have to cross Willandra Creek several times as I head head out, North West on my journeys to White Cliffs. The Lake Mungo National Park is approx 80 miles away, as the crow flies.

Quote:

Lake Mungo

In southwestern New South Wales, there are seventeen dry lakebeds that constitute the Willandra Lakes World Heritage area. Between 45,000 to 25,000 years ago, there were freshwater lakes with waters rising and falling each year. The lakes dried up 15,000 years ago. There are steep escarpments on the western perimeter of the lakebeds with crescent-shaped dunes deposited from wind called lunettes. The layers of clay and sand in the lunettes are like a weather gauge recording past periods of wet or dry climate. Lake Mungo is a magical, mythical place preserving 40,000 years of continuous Aboriginal history and environmental change. One of the most famous lunettes is the "Walls of China", which rises 30 meters above Lake Mungo and runs 30 km around the eastern shore. The alkaline sediments preserved fossils of giant short-faced kangaroos, Tasmanian tigers, hippopotamus-like Zygomaturus, and other Pleistocene megafauna. Aboriginees lived, fished, hunted, and occasionally were buried near the lakes. Lake Mungo is also the site of the oldest Aboriginal occupation (shell middens at 35,600 years ago, charcoal hearths at 37,000 years ago); oldest example of human cremation (26,250 years ago); and the oldest mitochondrial DNA sample extracted from a human skeleton (62,000 or 43,000 years ago). Ochre, which covered a body in a burial ritual, was traded from at least 200 km away. Almost every piece of silcrete found on the dunes is an Aboriginal artifact. Lake Mungo is also a great place to see mallee vegetation. Herds of red and western grey kangaroos and emu forage on the lakebed.

It is true that many of the hills of this region are silcrete capped remnants of a long gone age. For this silcrete to be at the site of the burials indicates that this silcrete was either carried down from the hills or picked up from erosion washings and carried the shorter distances by human hands. Silcrete is the capping which is also found on the cretaceous claystone outcrops, (the stuff they have brought up to the surface in this picture) containing opal. It was thought for a long time, that this eroded silica was the same silica that created the SiO4 that is today's opal but a new paper produced recently has claimed that opal is much younger than previously thought and actually created from biological silica rather than geological silica. Which is interesting news indeed.

unrelated but just as interesting.
http://www.abc.net.au/science/k2/moments/s246895.htm

[Longey_Nowze]

well... something exciting happened friday moring.... things have been weird here, lots of police and lots of people in uniforms that i haven't seen before with strange big weapons, this morning I took a little drive, the motorway was empty, so I was speeding as usual, going around and over 56m/s you do the conversion :P while going back I saw something red in the middle of the motorway, I thought to myself "what is that?! must have fallen from a car" still speeding i got closer and closer, then when I got too close to stop it turned out to be a police checkpoint! going to fast to think, I just passed it and that was the mistake! it was a huge mistake! nanoseconds after that I heard the sirens! and the loud speaker say "STOP WE WILL SHOOT!" my pants got wet, still going to fast to think, for some reason the instinct to get away to out run them was really strong! I don't know why though... then it stopped right after I heard shots fired! and that's what did it! my foot slammed the brakes so hard the car started spinning warning lights going off! the smell of rubber was everywhere! it was amazing! after that they surrounded me! guns pointing me from everywhere! i didn't know should i go out? should i stay in?! i opted for staying in, i opened the sun roof and put my hands through it, they came closer and closer, told me to keep them up, and get out of the car slowly so i did, they told me to lay on the street, the cuffed me and took me somewhere, hours later, they came to me and asked me some questions:

investigator: Why didn't you stop?
me: I didn't know it was a checkpoint.
investigator: Don't lie!
me: I was going to fast, and all I saw was a red thing
investigator: why were you going to fast!?
me: I was bored
investigator: DON'T LIE!
me: but I'm not lying.
investigator: What did you have to hide?
me: nothing.
investigator: then why didn't you stop?
me: I didn't know it was a checkpoint.
investigator: what?!
me: I was going to fast and they didn't even have their lights switched on, I didn't see them.
investigator: DON'T LIE! WHAT WERE YOU RUNNING FROM!
me: nothing.
investigator: WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP?
me: I didn't see the checkpoint.
investigator: TAKE HIM AWAY!

so i went, the were holding me in cell, I was alone bored, what felt like hours later they came to me and took me away again, this time it was for a strip search :eyes: then they asked for a urine sample, and they took some blood, back to my cell they came again took me away, another investigator with more stars than the first one

invest2: you didn't stop, why?
me: I was going to fast didn't see it.
invest2: but why?!
me: why what?
invest2: why were you going to fast?
me: I was bored.
invest2: what?
me: I was bored so i went driving
invest2: why didn't you stop?
me: I didn't see them, all i saw was a red thing, it was to late for me to stop!
invest2: you didn't see the lights?
me: nope they were off.
invest2: that can't be?! dont lie!
me: they were!
invest2: take him away.

again back to my lonely cell, i was hungry, the food was bad, so I didn't eat, i stayed there for more hours, then they came again, they took me to my car, and they let me go I WAS FREE! FREE AT LAST! i spent more than 24 hours there! I asked is anything going into my record? they said no, I rushed home, when i went in, no one noticed i was gone :eyes: which was a good thing, and that's what heppened

thank you
MaT
















warning: the story above is fiction, nothing happened, no one was arrested, I'm just bored.

[TreeBeard]

you should write books about your boredom.. I am sure they would fascinate many

[macjac]

The Rose
by Bette Midler

Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower, and you it's only seed.
It's the heart, afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance.
It's the dream, afraid of waking, that never takes a chance.
It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give.
And the soul, afraid of dyin', that never learns to live.
When the night has been too lonely, and the road has been too long,
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong,
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows,
Lies the seed, that with the sun's love, in the spring
becomes The Rose.

[Longey_Nowze]

i'm really bored cuz everyone is talking WAR, TERRORISM, REFORM! it gets boring no one is talking about me! that saddens me.

thank you
MaT

[macjac]

"Black Widow" Spiders is the variety we have in the States.
http://www.desertusa.com/july97/du_bwindow.html

[macjac]

This is the 'little bugger' that scares ME the most;


or ...rather THIS!

[TreeBeard]

ticks are bad news.
Luckily we don't get ticks that harm humans in my area, however the Paralysis tick is common in the north of my state and this is quite dangerous to humans. They can and do kill or paralyze.

Hey Mat, I hear that Rumsfeld says the war is over and the incursions are not really happening. So maybe we should just talk about you.